So this is depressing

I've been thinking about it for quite a long time.  I've decided that I've chosen the wrong major, for many reasons which I'm sure you're just dying to hear, but long story short, it's not what I thought it was.

Most of the reason I chose this major is because I was told it will give me the skills and experience I would need to do what I want: be a level designer and help create games.

While this is true to an extent, this path also did many other things.  It showed me the nitty gritty of what the game design field is, the competitive side of it, and more importantly the likelihood of me getting INTO a position that I wanted to be in at any time in the near or distant future.

Long story short is this:  I don't want to make video games from the ground up.  I don't want to make the tools to make the video games, I WANT TO MAKE THE VIDEO GAMES.  There IS a distinction there.

It's my own fault.  I honestly didn't know.  I honestly didn't make any effort to find out.  No one is to blame but myself.  I trusted that what I was told was true, because why would they lie or offer me false information?

So the more I think about it, and the more I look at it from an objective, more experienced point of view, the more I realize what a mistake I made.  I don't just want to go back and get a degree in engineering, I NEED to go back and get that degree.  THAT'S a job I can get behind, that I will enjoy, that I will be able to go to school for and LEARN.

Boohoo poor me.  whatever.  gnight folks.