I don't like feeling like this.

No one does.  Yes, there is something to say of willpower and keeping positive attitudes.  Still, the mind is a complex thing, and to deny one part of it is to deny the whole.  Accept that part, do not let it control you, but acknowledge it.  Count to three.  Then ten.  Then a hundred.

I consider myself a gentle man.  I am slow to anger.  I am rich in trust.  I am deep in thought, and reserve my words as best I can.  Still.  It takes a special person to earn my respect, a good person to earn my love, and a very unique person to return it.  In turn, it takes a special person to lose my respect.  A horrid person to earn my hate  A very unique person to make me hate myself.

I have found the latter.  A person that makes me honestly hate so much that I feel physically ill, and want to spit and wash myself to get this... horrid feeling off of me.

I try to focus on other things.  Brighter things.  New friends.  Old friends.  Family that loves me.  Family that tolerates me.  A good book.  Yet my mind falls to that which I cannot explain, the idiocy.  The hypocrisy.  The irreverence, the disrespect.

How can a person act thus and still consider themselves a person?  I care not for the reason behind their disdain.  Tolerance is what makes us people.  Not skill.  Not tall buildings.  Not money, certainly.  People that refuse to even acknowledge any point of view but their own are ignorant animals, undeserving of the title of person.  I don't mean to say one shouldn't believe what they believe.  I mean to say that one should honestly consider what someone else has to say, to look at them not as you, but as someone else.  If you look at a statue on one side, you have a pretty good idea of what the other side is, but to think your side is best without seeing or even acknowledging that there even IS another side, is simple foolishness and idiocy.

So in closing.  You are NOT all knowing. You are NOT perfect.  You are NOT better than anyone else because you have more education, more power, more money, a better situation.  I am a person.  I am me.  I have my own problems.  I have my own situation.  I have my own way of dealing with emotional stress, finances, and my own priorities.

Here's the deal

We had a "serious, sit down discussion", like you wanted.  We made THE RULES.  It's your house.  I respect that, and while it is frustrating that I'm (your words, not mine) "A full grown adult" who has the same curfew as minors, I follow it because again, it's your house, your rules.

Here's the thing though.  I'm in college.  I have a hard lights out Sunday through Thursday.  That, I'm afraid, DOESN"T WORK.  Again, though, I'm forced to acquiesce.  Friday and Saturday (it's in writing, so fuck you) I very clearly DO NOT HAVE A LIGHTS OUT.  PERIOD.  Why, then, do you come in after midnight and yell at me to "stop being a vampire?"  Do you not understand what a vampire is?  Because I assure you, I am not one.

Now that I've pointed that out to you, reasonably, articulately, etc. you've assumed a new tactic.  "If I make him get up early enough he'll HAVE to go to bed when I want him to.  To that, I have this to say:  Grow up.

You don't control me anymore; I LET YOU make the rules.  I COULD move out, but my quality of life would (I know, sounds crazy) be shit, and it'd just be a whole new bucket of stresses.

So let me outline something for you.  I follow your rules, I get yelled at and have to deal with the (usually hollow) threats.  I DON'T follow your rules, I get yelled at and have to deal with the (usually hollow) threats, with a slew of insults thrown at me for good measure.

So I really don't see the difference.  I'll just continue doing whatever the fuck I want because either way, I'm gonna get the same consequences.  Feels good to get that outta my system.